Selling Earth Mama

I'm ridiculously drained today!

After surviving on 1-2 hours sleep here and there every day, I'm finally caving in.

Been also skipping a few pumps here and there either for rest or to accompany Taylor.

But today! Today feels like a new low in my energy level. I was extremely grumpy and Taylor knew. So she didn't fuss much at breakfast.

She damn kelian.

She hates the skin of the bread and usually T would eat it for her but T was showering.

She whined a little but she could tell that I was grumpy, so she didn't push me and just sat there and watched me eat my breakfast while waiting for T to finish showering hahahaha.

I didn't offer to bite the skin off because I was not in the zone la.

I wanted to nap immediately after sending Taylor off.

Everyone else headed to the market so Nanny gave Ellie a bottle before leaving so she could sleep better and not wake me.

Seeing that I was knocked out, Nanny arranged Ellie like this.

Hahaha got a shock when I woke up.

It's a bit 夸张 and she obviously doesn't know how to flip yet but we find her moving a little sometimes.

Selling

Brand new! I brought it along in my hospital bag but never got around to using it because my recovery went really well.

What it helps with. If only I had this for my first delivery!

Selling for $14.

Brand New! I was kiasu and bought a pack of 3 even though 1 tub is more than enough.

Life saver for the early breastfeeding days when your nipples are gonna be sore all the time.

This is definitely one of my breastfeeding essentials!

#dayrepregnancy #dayremummies

Selling for $13!

Comment below or email me at whitepaperroses@gmail.com

Prices inclusive of free normal mail, meetups at Novena!

My 婆婆 came to visit me earlier on as she couldn't make it for Ellie's celebration next week.

Before she left, the last topic the 3 aunties were discussing were on whether I'm resting enough and if I took epidural.

I'm obviously not resting enough because I'm not lying on my back 24/7 and they are also horrified that I'm washing my hair.

I sense them looking down on me for washing hair and my 婆婆's parting words were….

以前我们都没有这种针还不是就酱生。

If it was any other person or even my mom, I would feel offended but because she's so old, I get that she s just from another generation when times were vastly different from now!

It reminded me of when my 阿嫲 was so relived to find out I was pregnant that she blurted out…

有孩子好! 女人就是要生才有用。

I felt amused yet sad at the same time.

What kind of world was she living in when she was a young adult?

It is tough being a woman, but it must have been tougher in their times.

Day 20 – today is the first time Taylor stopped me from feeding Ellie

Feels difficult to complete a post these days. Ellie seems to be going through a growth spurt so I've been latching her non stop this morning till now.

I have finally surrendered and pass her to Nanny to feed the last bottle of ebm I have.

I wonder how other mommies do the whole latching and pumping thing? Where got time! I feel like I'm already latching most of the time already, if I pump I won't get much anyway and I'm tireddddddd.

#dayremummies

Recently a few incidents keep replaying in my mind.

When Taylor was a few months old….

There was one day when I was absolutely tired and T was out. Struggling with being a new mom and being exhausted, I grabbed her a little too tired and said a little too loudly 'stop crying'.

Obviously, she was a baby and couldn't understand and cried even louder.

Thank God T returned a few minutes later.

When Taylor was around 1.5 years old….

T was away on a business trip and we just got home.

I took out paper and markers for Taylor to draw while I whipped up a quick dinner for us.

When I turned around, she had coloured all over the floor instead of on the paper.

My first thought was ugh, I already had so much to do and all she does is to create more trouble for me!

So I was unkind to her at that moment.

But how could she understand when she was only so young?

When Taylor was around 3 years old…..

There was a night when she wanted T to accompany for bedtime but he wanted to prepare for his meeting.

So I took over but after a long time, she still couldn't fall asleep! I was upset because I just wanted to rest ASAP. So I scoped her and she started wailing. T came in and wanted to take over, but I was insistent that I will pat her to sleep.

Why? I'm not sure what came over me.

So in the end, she sobbed quietly while I pat her and T sat in a corner 😒

Feeling irritated with my post natal masseuse right now.

I had her for my first pregnancy too and felt she was rather good so I decided to engage her again despite the fact that her prices increased by 20%.

This time round, there were little things that I picked up on that I didn't remember her doing so in the past!

1) using her phone in the middle of the massage. She will just stop her massage halfway and pick up her phone if it rings!

2) while chatting, she can pause and show me photos on phone. Uhm I was only being polite while listening to your stories but I'm seriously not interested to look at photos. I'm more concerned about the massage itself.

3) Tardiness – I have had 6 sessions and she was only on time once 😒

Now she has just msg me that she won't be able to make it for tmr's session!

Well, it's because her husband is being discharged tmr and she has to be there. Usually I will be more understanding but considering her high prices, and the fact that she brought the wrong size binder for me today, I'm really frustrated.

Am I being unreasonable if I want consecutive sessions? Previously she even told me that she might have to skip 2 days (sat and sun) because of a relative's wedding. If that's the case, isn't it affecting my recovery?

I guess it's also because she kept emphasizing about how she s doing all this to help heal her customers but I don't feel the sincerity at all compared to the first time I engaged her.

Sigh! 😥

Today marks 2 weeks since Ellie has been born.

I find myself wondering why I wanted a second child as I'm stuck at home now while T is out with Taylor.

I just miss spending 1×1 time with Taylor so much! 😥

Also feeling emo cuz I have been spending the morning mostly latching Ellie. But she still requires a top up of 60ml of fm! 🤷

Day 4 of my post natal massage

These are the knots she painstakingly tied for me everyday.

I have also 'upgraded' from a M to a S corset.

Everyday after my session, I feel breathless and walk like a penguin.

Can't wait for it to be over and be slimmer!!

Confinement Nannies // Iherb discount

Remember how I was just saying that I am not sure if I preferred my Nanny from previous pregnancy versus my current one?

#dayremummies

Guess what? I had a change of Nanny again! 😭😭

So I had gynae and pd checks on Monday morning (which went well THANK GOD), and we finally got home for lunch.

T and I were discussing over lunch and we concluded that this current Nanny is much better than the previous one because her attitude is very good and in general can tell that she really tries her best to care for me and baby.

However around 4plus, she suddenly got notified that her husband passed away due to a heart attack 😨😨

We were shocked and quickly informed the agency so that they can make arrangements for another nanny to come and also to pick up the current one.

(Ok la I was asleep when all these happened so T did everything. Apparently they said they will sent someone tmr but T was like no you need to send a replacement TODAY).

I really felt like crying because I feel like I have gotten used to having her around leh!

Plus she's really nice, not super naggy and can stand my temper (sometimes I'm really tired, I will snap at her). And whatever I tell her she will take it into consideration and change accordingly immediately which is difficult to find in nannies because they usually want to do things their own way.

However I can tell that she's not Super experienced kind (has worked 2 years as nanny) but overall I definitely did prefer her to my previous one!

My previous auntie was a private hire, recommended by a relative. She is very experienced but can tell that she is here to 'enjoy' life. Plus she is not very pro breastfeeding. I'm not against formula but she tend to overfeed baby with it! Her attitude wasn't super good either, as she tend to be sarcastic.

I did try to ask around for recommendations but apparently I was too late since I only started looking this when I was 5 months pregnant.

Anyway, new Nanny is with us for the third day now.

So far, she is more experienced, hence I feel more relaxed too. However her cooking is not as good as the previous one and she is not as enthusiastic as to serving tea break and supper.

The one that just left can cook red bean soup for me as tea break and bird nest for supper. Damn shiok.

But, most important is baby right???? Hahahaha.

I can tell that she is really confident in handling babies so ok la. She also tries to support me in bf-ing, and will top up with formula after baby latches

This is super important given that Ellie has jaundice so the priority now is to ensure she has enough to drink so that all toxins can be flushed out.

I would say that she is the inbetween of my Nanny from my first pregnancy and the one that just left.

As it is with people, there is no perfection but I'm currently quite happy with her!

I'm really enjoying my confinement this time round!

Minus the fact that I can't shower as and when I like, and can't eat whatever I like.

Other than that, I feel relatively well rested (also because I damn lazy to wake up and pump hahaha) and much more relaxed handling a newborn this time round ☺

Iherb

Been wanting to drag my iherb order but we are out of peanut butter and there's too good a deal to miss.

SEE! #iherb #goodthingsmustshare

How to resist? Plus the kefir I've been eyeing is FINALLY back in stock.

If you are planning an order, you can use my code STV821 for 5% off 😗

If you are already a regular user of Iherb, can also leave your code down below. I typically pick a random code to apply from Dayre to spread the love.

Just saw this notification on FB, it's so sad!

Few places hold sentimental meaning for me but this is one of the rare places that does. It's where T and I had our first 'proper' date, which is the third time we met. Thereafter, we return for special dates occasionally and most recently just before I popped.

I can't believe it! 😥😥

Taylor has started to be a little emotional. She said she missed me and want me to send her to school 😥

I an trying my best to be patient as I understand it's not easy for her to accept a new family member and have the attention be shifted away but wah I spent 1 hour patting her to sleep and she still doesn't want to sleep!!

In the end I was so angry and try to tell her as calmly as possible that mommy is very tired now so can daddy take over please?

Will try to find time to finish up my birth story later.

My Birth Story

It's been a week since Ellie was born!

Going for my gynae appt as well as her pd check tmr. Praying hard that everything will go well!

Meanwhile, thought I would post what I had written after I delivered. All typed in the hospital to reflect what I truly felt hahaha.

#dayrepregnancy #dayremummies

Here we go!

Due date – 10 Jan 2018

Delivery date – 08 Jan 2018

Everyone was commenting that it's a very nice date hahaha.

Been 3.5hours since I popped and I haven't drifted away yet. Guess  less drugs really helped in staying awake 😶😶

Let's rewind.

I woke up with cramping around 6am and started to time my contractions. They were a little irregular so I didn't think any of it but after an hour, I start to feel that this might be real. It started raining around this time, so it woke Taylor up. I kicked T to go soothe her so we can all get another 15-30mins of rest and woke them up at 730am to inform T that I might be giving birth soon!

By then my contractions were about 4-5mins apart already yet I was still deliberating over whether I should call my doc 🤷

In my mind, when there's no contractions I felt ok and hey maybe it's not really labour but when the pain hits it was intense so I decided to ring the doc around 815am after a shower. 

Was told to go to hospital ASAP

T was still on the way to send Taylor to cc and my pain was getting worse. I contemplated if I should get a taxi instead but decided to wait (I should have gotten a taxi).

By the time I reaches hospital, it was 945am. The nurses were still taking their time checking everything because they thought baby won't come so soon (haha surprise!) 

By the time I reached hospital, it was 945am. The nurses were still taking their time checking everything because they thought baby won't come so soon.

But when I started crying they start to realise that Labour is progressing very quickly and everyone just moved into action! Damnit anaesthetist still not here yet!! I was truly in a lot of pain and try really hard to focus on my breathing and at the same time I can feel my body is telling me to pushhhhhh! 

Thankfully, the midwives were very soothing and talked me through it and my epidural was in (at a lower dose than I would have liked 🙃🙃). But Haiya how?

My doc came and was panting (he ran from his clinic hahahaha FHL in the morning he was still thinking if he should stay or go back to clinic) and was amazed at how fast I had progressed.

Everyone quickly positioned me for labor and I pushed and pushed and pushed and baby is out!!!!

At a whooping 4.5kg 😲😲😲

I kept asking if they are sure or not 😭 

So it took me only around an hour plus before baby was out which was like super quick la. Which is why I didn't have the chance to increase my epidural dosage hahahaha. In hindsight, it's good because I remembered being KO straight after birth the last time and now I still can converse and bf baby for a while.

Unfortunately they still have to give fm upon pd's advise because she is a huge baby and they are afraid that her sugar level will drop too drastically or something.

I've just finished lunch which I didn't eat a lot because no appetite but I did manage to finish the fish and papaya soup ☺ 

******************************

9pm now and I just sent the parents + siblings along with T and Taylor back. 

Quickly lie down a bit because I've been sitting up almost the whole day 😑

Haven't gotten any rest yet because still too pumped from the adrenaline? Lol totally different from the last time when I was on epidural for 5 hours. I rmb i was really tired for the first 2 days and felt very miserable. Now I feel so energetic still though I'll probably regret saying this in 12 hours time wtf hahaha. 

Also ate so much better for dinner! Ordered salmon and payaya fish soup.

Taylor's first meeting with Mei2 went really well!! ☺☺

She was super excited about coming over so quickly had her dinner at home. Once she arrived she kept asking me if that's Mei2. When she heard mei2's first cry, she cried too hahahaha. I told her that's mei2's way of saying hi. After that she sayang her gently 😍😍😍 she even said I love mei2. 

When we said our goodbyes, I told her to sleep well and she said mommy you also sleep well.

What a darling ❤❤

Been about 36 hours since I've given birth. 

One main thing I did differently was I held off the SNS announcements (besides dayre because practically no one I knows follows me here). She felt like a little secret for the first 24 hours while I bonded with her and it was truly one of the best decisions I had ever made. No one except close family dropped by and that was really my preference too! 

T has been out most of the day and now night too because of work. If it was my first child I'll probably be depressed but here I am, taking care of her alone from 8pm till midnight and the nurse just dropped in to take the baby back for some routine checks. She was whining a little but because I had dozed off, I was still struggling to wake up lol so the nurse came in at perfect timing. 

Turns out she had passed urine! Now she is back and sleeping again. Wah. Can rest a bit more before next feed and I'm wondering what happened to the supper I ordered………

Ok end of my word vomit 🤣

Ending with a photo of Ellie hehe 😘😘